Why do we want to appear perfect before our spouses or loved ones? While this idea is not a license and opportunity to dabble into or meddle with ethical/moral flaws, in my opinion, it is a huge impediment to openness in many relationship.

"Sometimes, it's okay to be vulnerably open with your emotions", said my beautiful fiancée. This is a huge statement. I feel that, maybe because of what we've gone through from our past, there's this chasm that's created in our mind to never open up ourselves to people. for some of us, even the most skillful therapists and counsellors couldn't get us to say freely, what's really the core issues we're going through.

The question then should be, why are we afraid to let our loved ones see our shortcomings and frailties when we get things wrong? from my experience, it's because we don't want to be laughed at or pitied or we don't want to be bullied with harsh words or better still, looked down upon especially by the ones we loved. Comparison and the pressure that comes with it, is also another factor that contributes to exhibiting perfectionism.

Now, what do we do? how do we make our lives better by tackling this subtle confidence-jailer called perfectionism? Just know that it's not a difficult thing to do. It all starts from the mind. Yes, it's a mindset problem. I want you to see perfectionism as a roadblock to progress. When you hoard in perfectionism, you reduce the multifarious victories that would come to you as a result of getting feedback. In life, you need feedback. Even Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the greatest leader in my opinion, needed feedback when he asked his disciples to tell Him who do people say He is?

What I want you to know from this is that, perfectionism stops growth. without growth, we'll never live to our fullest potential. So, open up!, not just to anyone, but to those selected few you trust, get their feedbacks, brood upon the feedbacks, make the necessary adjustments, and then you'll begin to observe that the sky will not be a limit, it will be your starting points.

Muy Bueno Amigos | Mayor Altura! | (in Spanish: very good Friends | greater heights).

My Notes

DeeMuse

Perfectionism destroys Relationship.