AI Review of “The Girls Afraid of Shame” Podcast

The podcast "The Girls Afraid of Shame," hosted by Joshua Francis and featuring Amuche, delves into sensitive and often private subjects, specifically focusing on shame. The hosts identify two primary topics that people find particularly sensitive: age and salary. The conversation quickly centres on the shame surrounding age, noting that this is particularly directed at women. Amuche observes that society seems to shame women for ageing, creating a perception that the older a woman gets, the more useless she becomes.

This societal shaming manifests in various ways. The discussion highlights the fear of ageing prevalent among women, which is reflected in the marketability of anti-ageing products such as creams, serums, lotions, and eye creams. These products sell well despite the naturalness of ageing, suggesting a strong desire to resist it due to the accompanying shame. While ageing is natural, the societal narrative often frames it negatively, particularly for women, contrasting with a lack of similar shaming for men. An older man might be called "elderly" but often without the negative tone of being "less attractive, less appealing, not exactly useful" that can be applied to women.

Beyond physical ageing, women also face significant shame and pressure related to their marital status and whether they have children. Society often views marriage and childbearing by a certain age, particularly the late 20s, as a necessary "rite of passage" for women.

Women who choose not to marry or have children are often shamed for deviating from this expected path.

This pressure is so deeply ingrained that a woman being asked her age can trigger a fear of being shamed for not being married or having children at that age. Notably, this shaming is not limited to men; women themselves can perpetuate these judgments against other women, reflecting their own internal conditioning.

The underlying cause of this pervasive shame and fear is identified as deep-seated societal conditioning, often beginning in childhood. These "erroneous conditionings" influence various aspects of life, including perceptions of beauty, which are often tied to narrow, often Caucasian, standards. The source gives the example of using relaxers on young girls' hair from a very young age, arguing that this practice subliminally teaches them that their natural hair is not beautiful and needs to be altered or hidden. This conditioning also extends to topics like sex and body parts, which are frequently treated as taboo, perpetuating shame around natural human experiences.

To combat these harmful conditionings, the key recommendation is to actively deconstruct these learned narratives and beliefs. This process involves questioning everything – the societal standards, the judgments from others, and even one's own internal reactions. The speakers emphasise that this is not a quick fix but rather a constant journey of challenging ingrained beliefs and actively reinforcing healthier ones. While mentioning feminism as a movement that challenges some of these male-centred conditionings, the discussion stresses the importance of finding balance and focusing the work on one's own "colonised" mind to achieve personal freedom.

(To listen to the episode, check out The Agbasimere Joshua Podcast on Pocketcast, Spotify, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your Podcasts.)