@joshua
Founder, Netintui.com and Host of The Agbasimere Joshua Podcast
Uyo
I remember one of my mentors said once that during his NYSC—or something, a certain man was bragging and making ridicule of him and his colleagues. He said he looked at the man and told him he shouldn't feel special because the only leverage he had over them was time. He was over 40 years old and they were in their 20s. He had a car and they didn't. He shouldn't feel special. If they were his age, they would have that and even more. So, if you are a man on a journey, you shouldn't feel intimidated by any man's success who is older than you.
Newsflash, we are not in a level playing field. Of course, you can become whatever you want to become but you don't always have the right levers to get you started. Some people are born blind; some are born into poor families; some are born with cerebral palsy or some misnomer in their physiology. But you have your limps and brains intact, already the competition is not on a level field. You have leverage they do not have. And the story goes on and on. The game is not equal for everybody. So, when you see people more leveraged in one form or the other, don't get bitter, just accept the fact and move on. Work on building your own leverage and strive to get an opportunity instead of whining and complaining. Their leverage is their opportunity offered by nature, their parents, relatives, community they live, country they come from etc. Period. They are not smarter than you, they are just leveraged differently.
Sometimes you might have a friend from the same neighborhood, same context of challenges as you, and same everything, but they succeed in different ways as you would. They are supposed to. The difference is just the navigation of life they are following. Everyone is on their own journey, their own paths, and there are different opportunities and timelines exposed to the paths people are on. You're not slow, you are just on a different path. You're not lazy, what you're building probably just needs deeper ingenuity and more investments. You run your own life, in your own timeline, exposed to your own opportunities—they do too. You submitted different applications from theirs. You have different story from theirs. You are a completely different human being and you're bound to get completely different results.
Obviously, these ideas are not for sloths.
I have a lot to say. A lot to complain about. But I choose the more noble path: give thanks. Dale Carnegie said we should never take the luxury of writing complaint letters. Sound advice.
I'm thankful for my pastor in Lagos, Pastor Ossai. He calls me and enquiries how I'm doing; what's the update from the camp? I'm grateful for him. He might not understand how much it means to me for all the care he shows to me. He's doing what my father would have done. I feel loved.
I'm also thankful to the Philip family. Mr Anietie Philip helped me get posted to Abuja. His wife, my aunt, has been a mother to me. While I was in Abuja, she was the mother I had. I'm grateful for the love, care, and support her family shared with me. It was remarkable. They are my family now. Abundance, Ability, Adorable, Andinwam, and Anita—they are my younger ones. I love you guys.
My mentor, Jim Rohn, said that it's fascinating that those you think will stay, leave; and those you think will leave, stay. It's a fascinating thing about life. People you expect to be there for you, to be your friends through thick and thin, they disappoint you in some shocking way. And those you don't expect much love from now demonstrate a sacrifice you can't quite fathom. I respect Mummy Victoria for her sacrifice towards me. (When I told her—out of courtesy—I was to travel to Abuja for Service, she told me to send my account number. I was reluctant to because this is an old woman managing herself. Someone told me to just send it. And she sent me 50k. I was shocked! My boss I told I was traveling has refused to reply my messages, nor even read it. Life is really not balanced. You cannot depend on the benevolence of men. Trust God.)
I also respect Horight Peters for accommodating me after I was dismissed from camp. I'm currently at his place. Horight is a colleague on Netintui, who joined the team just last year. He believed the vision and decided to join the team but, we never really knew each other personally. He was joking with me yesterday that probably the reason he's serving in Abuja is because of me. I would have probably traveled back to Lagos or Uyo after leaving camp. But because of him, I'm still here. I'm grateful to God for him. The way we bond and connect I don't quite understand myself, but I thank God for His providence.
I think I should just end it here. I don't want to talk about those who disappointed me. Again, “Never take the luxury of writing complaint letters.“
Merriam-Webster defines Activation Energy as the minimum amount of energy to convert a normal stable molecule into a reactive molecule. Meaning the smallest energy attainable to move from level 1 to level 2.
I like to say that we are told to start small, but there are various levels of small. The resources needed to start small for a manufacturing project is different from that needed for a retail business. This concept of small is what I’d like to refer to as the activation energy. You have to understand what it is for what you’re building or where you envision to get to. Begin at the level where you are and keep building upwards.
The other idea is the Activation Levels. There are levels to everything. The same thing can exist at different levels. All photographers are not the same. Some are on different plateaus. Wherever you are right now is your own plateau. There are people above you and there are some below you. You don’t have to remain where you are. At every position you find yourself, there is always a new activation energy for a new, higher level. Keep uplifting.
The last idea is Activation Timeline. Energies do not last. Physics teach us that they get converted from one phase to another. Heat get converted and utilized to another form of energy, as it is useful for the one who needs it. In contrast, if you do not utilize some energy, they will fade and die. The energy of love dies. The energy of passion dies. The energy of resolve fades. If you don’t utilize them while they are active and boiling, they will wane and fade.
If you take too long to decide to do something, it’ll become too late. If you make some people wait too long before you tell them how you feel, they will pass by before you realize it. Life moves. Passion loses its freshness. Ideas lose their brilliance. Love fades if you don’t tender the fire. People won’t chase you for too long—if you make them feel like they are chasing after a wind, they will lose interest. They will move on in a tranquil way. Spirit’s presence have timelines. You encounter them at specified times, and if you let that time pass without engaging it, it’s gone. Seasons are marked in timelines.
TL.DR: Your next level has an energy you must gain to capture it. This is the activation energy. There are always levels higher than where you currently. Keep going higher by charging and recharging in energy levels. Finally, energies don’t last for too long, they must be utilized or they will die.
Take care.
It’s been an interesting time. Actually, it’s always an interesting time—depending on how you look at things. There’s always something to learn if we pay attention. I want to share some ideas with you, that hopefully you might be inspired by them.
There is always more to say. (Please, I need not say more.)
Whatever works can become a drug. When I came for the NYSC Service, it was with the help of my uncle. When I arrived the Kubwa Camp, finding a PPA, I was told to liaise with groups of influence, either OBS, or be friends with the Platoon head, camp commandant, being a member of the Red Cross, etc. They said there is more chance of getting a preferable placement by being among these groups. Another way to getting a good PPA is by paying someone to run the deal for you. In camp, I met a colleague of mine from the University—same department—who told me he’s setting up an arrangement with to get FIRS as his PPA. (At a cost, of course.) By the way, PPA means Place of Primary Assignment, which is where NYSC sends you to work for the one year service.
When I sat on the clinic mattress and was thinking about all these things, having been told that I was going to leave the camp on health grounds, and so I wouldn’t have the opportunity to woo anybody or ant my way into a favorable PPA placement, it dawned on me that I was becoming aligned with the culture of the environment—the drug of which everyone finds as the panacea for the pleasure of a good placement and the pathway to success in Abuja. I become inspired an uttered the statement, “Whatever you find to work can become a drug.” The networking works; the sorting works; the payments work; being a sycophant works…and because it works, it becomes a drug. It becomes the first point of contact for any solution onwards. It narrows our human creativity and ingenuity to a systemic pattern of problem solving. What systemic drug are you addicted to? And your desperation will force you into alignment to it.
Separate yourself from what is dishonorable, and you might be an instrument for honorable use. Some things might not be wrong, per se, but they are dishonorable. If you have a taste for excellence, only engage in the honorable. It is honorable to not compromise your values. I read a aphorism in a Christian magazine and it said, “Others may, but I cannot.” There is always a superior lifestyle to run your life by. And it comes from buying superior philosophies about life; by tending only to noble and worthwhile causes. It will build your self-esteem.
You must determine to not fall to an inferior attitude towards people or yourself. You are a member of the Netintui Community, we are superior in our values. Our value systems are characterized by excellence. So, you must hold your fort. My friend John D. Rockefeller says, “You have to cultivate your ability to manage your emotions and control your emotions, and you should be careful not to be influenced by your emotions when making decisions, but to instead make decisions based on your needs and always know what you want. There are many people and things that require us to be patient in the world, and they entice us to be emotional.”
Finally, set a higher standards for yourself. Respect everyone but not everyone can be your friend. Not everyone should have the audacity to ask you out not to speak of ask your hand in marriage. Not everyone can you be attracted to and ask her out. Have standards and keep to them. For a young man like me, if you find a remarkable young lady you truly love, hold her with everything you have. Trust me. Get more rewards at a lower cost. Everything you have today cost you something to get, so more of what you will get in the future must come at a lower cost. This is possible through optimization and leverage.) Do more things with less energy. Apply tools and systems to help you achieve more with less energy. You’re getting older and as such you can’t keep expending this much energy. You’ll just die too early. Create systems and have mentees, disciples, robots and minions that will take monotonous, uncreative work out of your hand. God bless.
So, I got kicked out of camp. Quite sad. Well, should I say I got kicked out of camp? I think I got saved out of camp. I’d have loved the experience of the classes, the networking opportunity, the chance to converse with people and get to meet some interesting persons. But, I was dismissed because of my health. I was queried as unfit for the program. The stress would have been too much for me.
I flew into Abuja from Uyo by 12 PM on Thursday 20th November. Arrived 12:50 PM. Ordered a ride from the airport to a DLBC local Church in Kubwa. (Incredible journey, by the way.) Left some of my stuffs at the church for my friend to keep for me while I begin my journey to the NYSC camp. Then I took a bike to NYSC Camp—still in Kubwa. Arrived there (I think 2 or 3:30 PM), checked into the compound; joined the pre-camp orientation speech by the state coordinator, afterwards I began registration; finished registration by past 8 PM and went to get my khaki kit. Got them and went back to the hostel. I was so exhausted and flush. I freshened up and just slept. (The bunk I chose had its windows exposed, so mosquitoes could have some party on us, but I cared very little, I just slept off.)
Friday morning, 4:30 AM, the bugle was blown and everyone was rushed to the field for the early morning routines. We were there till past 7 AM. I was incredibly tired of standing. I got dizzy. I needed water but left my water bottle in the hostel. Stranded and despondent, I just went to the back of the line and bent down to catch my breath. A soldier saw me and asked me why I wasn’t in line. I complained that I wasn’t feeling well. He just left me and went his way. The dizziness continued. Afterwards, we were dismissed. I couldn’t stand. I managed to walk to a canopy and lay helpless on two plastic chairs, trying to gain my strength from standing for so long. (It felt natural to some other persons, but quite difficult for me.) Later, a member of the Red Cross noticed me and came along. He and someone else helped me into the ambulance and I was driven to the clinic. I could notice little of what was going on. I would say I was consciously unconscious.
We got to the clinic and I was rushed to where felt like an emergency unit. It was just a primary healthcare center, so nothing extraordinary was to be expected. Some vital checks were procured on me, and they discovered my BP was low and also my pulse wasn’t normal. They punctured a vein on my left arm, attached an aperture-thingy for administering drips, and got me started with the first dose. (I got two.) Afterwards I was moved to the ward where I was rested on a mattress while the fluid was making its way into my body. Finally, I got myself. And used the opportunity to sleep. I slept so much I got blisters on the seat of my body. (Buttocks, if you may.)
Next, the breaking news was given to me: on account of what has happened, you are unfit for the camping exercises. I tried to negotiate my leaving. But the madam in charge relented. She gave some reasons and said they would have to send me back home. (They don’t want trouble.) Even the state coordinator came to the ward where I was, saw me lying down and asked how I felt. I said I was okay. He said, “They haven’t started and you’re fainting”. Good point!
Long story short, I got dismissed from camp. I’m not returning. I’d have to wait until 9th December when I’ll receive notification of my posting to a place of primary assignment.
That’s it. I’ll miss the networking opportunity. The Friday this happened was the day of swearing-in as corp members. I missed the event. I missed the opportunity to take pictures. In fact, I never took one picture of myself on any NYSC wear—not the white-shirt on white-short nor the khaki trousers and crested vest. I missed it all. But, it’s okay. I’m grateful to God that I’m alive. I’m a survivor. I couldn’t make it the NYSC Camp but I made it, on Sunday 23rd November, to the grand finale of The General Assembly hosted by KOINONIA at the Moshood Abiola National Stadium. (That event was so impactful! Story for another Note.)
Is fulfilment momentary? It is—and it is not. In my opinion, it’s a mindset. I wouldn’t relate checking-off goals list with being fulfilled because when there aren’t any box to check-off, one might consider oneself to not be fulfilled. Fulfilment shouldn’t be momentary, it should be our constant conviction. Conviction, I say—not feeling. We won’t always feel fulfilled, but we can always be convicted that we are—regardless of how we feel.
So, I feel fulfilled. (Don’t misconstrue me. It’s not like I haven’t been fulfilled. I am a fulfilled being. I’ve tricked my brain to detach my feelings from concrete facts like fulfilment or happiness, etc. But about this season, I feel fulfilled.) I did the Podcast with Prof Richard Ajah, which I’ve always wanted to do; I contributed to my family in Uyo, to people online through my Podcasts and videos; I volunteered heavily to the Church of God; and…and, I am travelling to Abuja—the state I’ve always had in mind to visit.
Yes. I am travelling to Abuja for my service year. My uncle helped me with it. (He must have seen the way I spoke so passionately about my desire to be in Abuja. At one point, he asked me if it was God who spoke to me directly and I said not really, I just want to be in Abuja.) He reached out to his childhood friend who is a senior officer in NYSC thingy. And even though his friend said it was a 50/50 thing because Abuja was pretty competitive, he tried it anyway. My second option was Delta. (For some funny reason. But I have always desired Abuja.) Delta would have been straightforward to get, but his friend decided to just try Abuja first. Monday morning, I checked for the call-up letter and lo and behold, it was FCT, Abuja. I went nuts!!!
(It’s funny, these happenings bring to my mind a principle Bob Proctor shared in his book, “Born Rich”. It was on mentally fixating a desire, a worthy ideal and passionately professing it. It’s mind-blowing. It’s a spiritual principle. Because God rules my life, I know He has a hand in all this. So I wouldn’t fully attribute the praise to this idea from Proctor. But the principled way, through man, in which God can carry out His will for any life is what I believe this underscores. If you fixate a worthy ideal in your mind long enough, and you desire it well enough it gets you to begin confessing or enquiring about it, it will become attracted to you. As an aside, I also said and wrote that I was not going to leave Uyo with a bus. And I am not!)
Now, the question I always ask myself after a pivotal milestone is, “What Next?”
So, Joshua, “What Next?” Domination. I’m going there with a predatorial mindset. I’m going for an adventure. I’m going to labour. I’m going to merchandise. I’m going to share the gospel. The good news of Christ, the good news of the vision He’s planted in my heart for Netintui, for the Podcast, for shifting the mindsets of people, for helping people see Light and light. (And who knows, I might find romantic love there. Who knows? It’s too soon to say. And apologies to any damsel in Uyo who might have been interested in me but was too reserved to voice out their feelings loud. Now, I’m leaving. I hope they don’t blame God.)
(My cockiness these days sef. But it’s not brash if it’s a fact.) That’s all. Holiness-Righteousness will say “Over and out.”
I think we can be too fast to judge or predict outcomes by looking at early signs or initial happenings. I believe one of the most brilliant responses to offer anyone asking your opinion on what might happen or come out of a situation is to respond, “It’s too soon to say.”
Life could be fast. Very fast. And we have very, very little…in fact, we know near to nothing about the outcome of anything. Things could change overnight. People change. Happenings occur. And that might be because somebody changed his mind about something, or someone fell sick, or made a mistake, or some natural disaster happened and changes everyone’s attention. “Overnight” is a mysterious consideration in the outcomes of life.
Two key subjects that affect events in life are people, happenings that affect people; and resources, happenings that affect resources. Simply put, people and happenings. And frankly, none of these two things does any human being have complete power over. Your power to influence people increases as you grow in affluence, wisdom, and control. But “happenings”, it’s difficult to control. You can only influence.
Happenings are natural and paranormal. The only way to influence happenings are at their level or higher. That is why people pray to God. That is why people go fetish. With people, if you have money, play games, politics and understand human nature, you can get about with people. But happenings—in their hierarchy of paranormality—you influence them at their level. Higher levels of happenings are called “hand of God” events. You can’t influence that with money. You meet them at their level. The higher you go and more the more precise in your engagements that ensure these happenings, the more you’re not a regular human being. The more deify your existence.
So…long story short, if you understand your capacity, and know you have very little information, power and control over an outcome, which is often a lot of outcomes, the best response, in my opinion, is “It’s too soon to say.”
Heyyyyy!!! It’s happening. IT IS HAPPENING! Dreams do come true. It’s good to have faith. Faith in God; faith in yourself; faith in other people. Faith in the silence. Faith in the noise. Faith in unbelief. Faith in high-belief. It’s just good to keep your faith.
Well frankly, I can’t attribute this one to myself. At some point, I didn’t believe it would be possible. I just gave in that some other time it would be possible. But I still prayed. I prayed that sincere prayer, “Lord, I surrender to Your will for me. I want what You want for me. Yet, I really desire to….What do you think?” And, even though this is the beginning of a brand new world for me, I am greatly expectant of what is coming. I believe God for what is coming.
God does listen to our prayers—and answers, too. I would suggest that you make your thoughts loud. (The good ones.) Share it with others, even casually. Just say it. “Frankly, it is my desire to…” Share it. Tell it. You don’t have to be brash. Just say it humbly. Say it often. Say it surely. Say it timidly. Say it firmly. Say it faintly. Just ensure you say it.
Let me share a song with you. This song has been on repeat on Spotify. It’s the song for the season. (As an aside, I observe myself sometimes and say something of the sort, “You’re a child of God. Don’t forget that. Forget about what the devil is battering in your ears about your eccentricity and associating your irreligious posture as secular and gentilish. Forget about those rubbish. You’re a good man. And you obviously love Jesus. You don’t have to be religious, you just have to love Jesus and be spiritual.”) Back to our song, listen here: https://open.spotify.com/track/1pPRYJX9WM9eV9dn2eayzy Here’s one of my favorite lines in the song:
“Can you remember how our God;
Has never failed, never failed us?
Remember that His Name
Will make a way,
He’ll make a way;”
Wow, I can’t believe we’re finally doing this! It’s funny what’s on my mind is beyond the challenges I know I’ll face during the initial periods of this new journey. My God, it’s happening. Hahaha!
Allow me to enjoy the moment. Looking forward, God will definitely make a way. For you. Yeah, you!
(By the way, what’s happening? Well…)
Sis Perfect called me this evening. She prayed over me. I felt teary-eyed but had to control myself. She had to end the call quickly because she became emotional at some point. I guess the sense of losing something is quite uncomfortable for us. We don’t like to lose anything dear to us. It’s why the death of others we love feels unsettling. What was the reason for the whole drama? Pastor told the workers today that I was leaving for NYSC. Yes. I’m leaving Uyo. It’s been home for me. But now, I’m leaving towards a new home and a new family.
I guess there’s no better life than being a contribution. Being a blessing to others. Being there: loving, sharing, giving. You know, thinking about it, what would I have desired someone to vulnerably share with me? I guess I should share that with myself in the most sincere way that I can. So, here we go:
“Hey Joshua, you’re a good man. You love Jesus, there’s no doubt about that. Thank you for being a friend. Thank you for being a brother. A good brother and a good friend. Thank you for being a mentor. Thank you for contributing to us, for blessing us with your substance, your knowledge, your kindness, your warmth and your inviting presence. Thank you for courageously sharing, openly, what some of us were afraid of saying. Thank you for being reliable. Thank you for being a giver, a scholar. Thank you for the Secret of Success program, anchored by Joshua Nelson. We were blessed by what you shared so passionately. Thank you for the revealing, entertaining and powerful STS sessions you anchored when you had the opportunity. Thank you for the sacrifices you made for the Church of God. We thank God for you.
“We want to remind you that God cannot owe any man. He will remember you, and He will bless you abundantly. As you move to this new location, God will take care of you. He will sustain and keep you with His jealousy. He will not permit any evil to come close to you. He will succour and comfort you with a new family, a new home. He will edify you more and more, and will elevate your experience and knowledge of Him. He will establish you. And when you’re ready to settle down in marriage, He’ll bless you with a good and virtuous woman. She will be a gift from Him to you—and you’ll be a gift from Him to her. She’ll be special to you and will love you dearly.
“God bless you, Joshua. And He’ll make your dreams come true. We love you. We’re praying for you. Keep building. Keep podcasting—it’s a blessing to us. Keep growing. We’ll keep in touch. Take care of yourself.”
Sigh! Thank you Jesus for the opportunity. Onto the next adventure. A new home, a new family.
So, I had an interview with my campus state pastor, Professor Richard Ajah, and we talked about Mentality and Mindset. Better put, the stronghold of mentality and mindset. He has some intriguing things to say about how mentality limits people from becoming what they are supposed to be. How it checks their speed, their ambition, their taste, their desires. It’s a powerful force.
The best you understand of what is possible is the best you’ve been exposed to. Until you have a taste of excellence, you wouldn’t desire it. Your family background, your upbringing—even how much love you received when you were young can structure your mindset and mentality to act towards life a certain way that aligns with the beliefs you grew up with.
It was Paul Onwuanibe who shared, “If you want to experience what you’ve never experienced before, you have to be willing to do what you’ve never done before.” And doing what you’ve never done before requires a new perspective towards action. A new perspective on yourself. A new perspective on your identity. A new perspective on what you’re capable of.
I’ve been reading Rockefeller’s 38 Letters to His Son. My gosh! That book is shifting my perspective about work, labour, competition, faith, diligence, and leadership. And that’s the stuff of the growing life, constantly shifting your paradigms, changing what you thought was the way things ought to be done.
The Podcast with Prof is going to be out on Sunday, 16th November 2025, on all major platforms: my YouTube channel, Spotify, Apple Podcast, Amazon Music, PocketCasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Make sure you susbcribe to get notified. See you later.
That’s a good question, you know. Huh…let me see…I think when you ask this question, you’re trying to say, “Who do I desire to have access to for fellowship, but cannot?” That’s what I think you mean. This could be the subject of the person I miss because it’s impossible to reach them, probably because they are dead. It could also be the subject of someone I miss because our time together is over—friends of the past, maybe from primary, secondary schools or University, or even from places I’ve been before. We fellowshipped together only because we shared some commonalities, and after the commonalities changed, we moved on. I do miss them, but I can’t realign us to have similar commonalities that will bring us together again. That’s too powerful a happening for any normal human being, in my opinion.
So, back to the question: Who do I miss most?
I miss my siblings, and I miss my mom. I miss untethered access to them. They were my best friends. And I was their baby. I love them so much. (I remember when I was pursuing admission into the University, Rhoda said I should go to Unilag, which was close to home, so they could take care of me, especially because of my food peculiarities. I don’t eat the most common food in Nigeria, which is soup and swallow varieties. I just don’t like it. I tried getting to Unilag twice, and it didn’t work. I got fed up and chose a random University. That’s how I landed in Uniuyo. In my years one and two, I used to travel home every holiday. After my IT, I got tired and decided not to go back home. I haven’t seen them for more than two years now. And going to NYSC soon, I’ll even be more distant from them. After NYSC, I’m not even planning to go back home. I really miss them. But I have to define a new home.)
I miss my brothers: Jonathan and Nzube. When we were living together, we were like brothers. We are still brothers. (My brothers from different mothers.) Those guys took care of me. Weirdly enough, I think I’m the oldest, but they took care of me like I was their younger brother. The only place I ever got asked, “Wetin you go eat?” was from home, but these brothers of mine constantly asked me when we were living together. When they would make soup (obviously, I won’t eat) and I’d probably be reading or working on something, they would ask me what I’d eat. Sometimes, even prepare it for me. I’ve never heard anyone ask me that question since. Jonathan used to iron clothes for me, especially for Sunday wear. When I’d be so worn out coming back from Church assignments, they were always there for me. They were my brothers. They still are. Today, Jonathan calls me “blood”. We are that close. But we are chartering our paths now.
I miss other friends of mine. Udofia, my first son, thanks for being a brother indeed. Jane, my very kind friend who used to call me “Beke”, which I think means white man. Shalom, my very good friend who was patient enough to indulge me. Kindness and Wisdom, my dream-aspirational partners; thanks for challenging me to become more. Mr Anari, my youth leader, who taught me a lot of things about life and spirituality. Took me for evangelism every Sunday after service and taught me how to preach to people. Mr Uwem, my neighbour, would teach me the Bible and expound truths to me for hours. His wife would leave us in the living room and go to bed. We’d just be there, and I’d learn. I am far older than my age in wisdom because of mentors like him. A BIG thank you to even more of them.
Let’s not talk much about them. We’ll see them in Heaven. I miss my fathers: Remigius, my biological father, who spent a lot to give me the life he never had. I couldn’t speak to him heart-to-heart before he slept because he suffered from cognitive dissonance. He used to call me ‘Man’. I miss being called that. And Mr Lekweuwa, my ‘adopted’ in-law father. When I was living with him, when he was unmarried, before he left for work, he would come to the bed where I was lying, give me a kiss on my face and say, “Take care of yourself, son.” Son, that was what he used to call me. If God would permit me to pray 100 hours and speak to the grave to release you, I’d do 300. Yet, see you in Heaven.
Huh…, life happens to everybody. God is Father. And He cannot die. He is everywhere with me. Friends might abandon me, and I might not be called the names that once made me feel special. I might not be asked by anyone if I’ve eaten or not, or even eaten a balanced meal. I might be far from home, from the ones who truly love me most. I might not have a partner who has decided she wants to build a new family with me. Perhaps no one wants to, even if I give an invitation. No problem. Two things I’m sure of: God loves me more than they all. And God cannot die.
The below image is one of those pictures that I love so much. That’s my Ma in the middle of me and my elder sister. Seeing this picture just remind that I don’t have a picture taken of me and my dad. I just thought of it and was like, “That’s true.”
Apart from a group picture we took during my secondary school graduation, the only picture I have of myself and my dad is the one below, which was his burial. (That’s funny.) You remember the old aphorism, “A picture is worth…a thousand words.” A thousand words! The picture tells the story. Sometimes we are not armed with the vocabulary to tell the story in the right way that will affect the hearts of people, then the picture will do the talking. The picture will explain what we might be unprepared to explain. The picture will be the evidence of our truth. The evidence of our evolution.
Ensure you take pictures. Take pictures of yourself. Take pictures of your tears. Take pictures of your laughers. Take pictures of your journeys. If you could document your lifetime, do it. Of course you can’t capture everything—in Heaven everything about you is documented—but capture the special and not-so-special moments. The feeling of what or who is special is a personally subjective point that is decided on in the moment. When time passes, our consciousness will shift and we might wish we took record of the moments that had past. So today, whether you feel like it or not; whether it looks savvy or not; whether it feels yucky or it feels disappointing or it feels condescending or you’re afraid, from my heart, take my advice and keep a record of that moment. It passes fast. And you might miss it.
Mehn, I wish I took record of some things. I wish I took pictures with some people. I wish.
But…I’ve learned. Let’s move forward. Let’s take correction and archive our lives. Archive your experiences. Either with text, photos, audio or videos. But ensure you keep a record for yourself, and for the people you care for. (Partly, that’s why we’re building Notes. Notes is not going anywhere. We are here to stay.)
(As an aside: I plan for even the birth of my first child—and others—to be recorded on picture or video. Of course, it’ll be on a private archive. So just in case my child asks, “Daddy, where do babies come from?” I won’t tell, I’ll show. “Come see mommy struggling to bring you into this part of reality.” What an experience that will be? Profoundly beautiful. A picture is worth…? A thousand words.)
"One might argue that complexity of mind militates against easily finding soulmates"__Alain de Botton
Isn't that true? There's some sense of truth in this. One doesn't always have to stay complex but, it seems, the more robust your personality, vocabulary and taste, the more often you put people off.
But it's not rocket science. You can still find someone who would like you, but it'll be really difficult.
My point exactly, if you have a sophisticated taste in lifestyle, personality, and vocabulary, finding a partner that might match that plateau will be difficult. But if you'd settle with someone else, then you'd have to succumb to acting normal for most cases.
PS: But Of Course There Are Obvious Exceptions (BOCTAOE).
Being monomaniacal means being obsessively or single-mindedly focused on one thing to the exclusion of others, often with an intensity that might appear abnormal or compulsive.
Now, the question is, “Am I a monomaniacal person? Is it wrong to be monomaniacal?” Nothing is wrong, in itself, if there was no commandments. But since there have to be commandments to make for order, some things are considered right or wrong. Sometimes, not objectively right or wrong, but contextually right or wrong. Situationally, also, as the case may be.
A monomaniacal commitment to something is what most people don’t have. But, at the same time, you have to understand what you can be monomaniacal about. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Meaning that you should be able to change your mind—with new insights—about a course of direction.
But if you can discover what you ought to spend your life on, typically every waking hour of your existence, then you could be said to have hit the jackpot. Too much is not achieved because most people do not stay long enough, maniacally, on a course of direction. They change not because of new information or fresh insight that they are on the wrong road, but because of the weakness of their resolve; sometimes because they reach the end of their tether.
Here’s my advice: if not for new information that only justifies you’re on the wrong path, for the long term, do not change. Stay maniacal. Stay monomaniacal. Once you discover the right path you should take, and you believe that’s the right path for you, stay there and deepen your roots.
