Wandering into a journey of self-discovery

Growing up, I couldn't be considered beautiful. If beauty were a crime, I was innocent. Or so I thought. I always thought, "I'm too dark and slim. I'm ugly because my face isn't fine. I don't talk and act like a girl. The worst is that I don't even walk well." These thoughts bothered me and affected the way I approached things.

These disastrous thoughts about myself were heightened after an incident occured when I was about seven. I was suddenly paralyzed, the cause unknown. I couldn't walk for days and had to be carried everywhere, most times bedridden.

This unfortunate event affected my posture, walking, standing and even sitting. I couldn't walk well after that and had to be massaged regularly. I couldn't split again unlike before and had to be careful when walking and standing, to avoid a dislocation.

Years after that, towards the end of my secondary school education, I came to realize that beauty isn't just about the face, body features and movement. I discovered several talents and potentials I had and since then, I'm working towards developing myself and finding my purpose in life.

I was told once by someone that maybe God set aside a day to create only me, because I'm beautiful and "perfect" at many things. When I sit and reflect on this person's words, tears fill my eyes and I ponder and wonder why I never saw my intellectuals and potentials.

Everyday, I ask God for guidance, help and courage to face the unknown, and to stand by me, when I'm at my lowest and even my highest. Now, I'm wandering into an endless journey of self-discovery, to find my purpose and the mystery that lies therein, with God by my side. I am Elizabeth, and I am El Shava.